I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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