we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Less talking, more tequila
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
