Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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