I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
