nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
