WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
