So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
