i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?