Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.

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(224): View more from Illinois

i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.

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(718): View more from New York

knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.

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(619): View more from California

I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.

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(212): View more from New York

She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.

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