Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

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  (954): It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life. http://tfl.nu/v7co
  Replies (10) Good night (699) Bad night (3630)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.

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  (717): Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think. http://tfl.nu/f6ax
  Replies (26) Good night (5404) Bad night (1569)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.

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  (865): just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke. http://tfl.nu/o9qp
  Replies (5) Good night (4628) Bad night (912)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.

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  (901): at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby. http://tfl.nu/xhbt
  Replies (8) Good night (901) Bad night (3276)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.

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  (423): I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats. http://tfl.nu/9par
  Replies (6) Good night (1918) Bad night (2529)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.

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  (208): I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind. http://tfl.nu/h3pw
  Replies (8) Good night (5147) Bad night (985)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye

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  (781): No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye http://tfl.nu/qnov
  Replies (12) Good night (1101) Bad night (2791)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.

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  (480): It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos. http://tfl.nu/s5gg
  Replies (4) Good night (834) Bad night (2557)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.

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  (307): I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why. (303): Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube. http://tfl.nu/4s63
  Replies (3) Good night (1718) Bad night (426)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

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  (778): they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date? http://tfl.nu/4653
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (858)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.

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  (309): I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison. http://tfl.nu/fqll
  Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (310)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear

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  (512): He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear http://tfl.nu/jwyg
  Replies (6) Good night (1518) Bad night (434)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!

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  (404): Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!! http://tfl.nu/t5g2
  Replies (15) Good night (1348) Bad night (384)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.

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  (612): It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/k02r
  Replies (0) Good night (293) Bad night (216)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me

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  (425): Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me http://tfl.nu/l6rg
  Replies (1) Good night (224) Bad night (469)

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