Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he's a keeper

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  (570): so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours. (609): he's a keeper http://tfl.nu/09kq
  Replies (29) Good night (5256) Bad night (512)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm in his phone as sushi coochie

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  (610): i'm in his phone as sushi coochie http://tfl.nu/9tzp
  Replies (30) Good night (960) Bad night (6572) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.

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  (240): So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak. http://tfl.nu/34fx
  Replies (30) Good night (5568) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.

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  (425): I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me. http://tfl.nu/cm8t
  Replies (19) Good night (3645) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.

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  (352): My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible. http://tfl.nu/infy
  Replies (8) Good night (3436) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  i had confetti in my bra

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me

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  (210): i had confetti in my bra (1-210): i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me http://tfl.nu/08sl
  Replies (25) Good night (3928) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.

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  (541): To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever. http://tfl.nu/9nwk
  Replies (7) Good night (825) Bad night (3225) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.

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  (606): Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now. http://tfl.nu/sgsy
  Replies (12) Good night (2091) Bad night (1246) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night

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  (204): I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night http://tfl.nu/wncj
  Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (1887) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.

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  (856): I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog. http://tfl.nu/f78e
  Replies (5) Good night (2209) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.

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  (302): seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one. http://tfl.nu/f1ae
  Replies (6) Good night (989) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels

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  (204): God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels http://tfl.nu/dxhw
  Replies (12) Good night (963) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  YES.

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  (513): People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join? (1-513): YES. http://tfl.nu/e51l
  Replies (3) Good night (1203) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?

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  (845): I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it? http://tfl.nu/d94j
  Replies (4) Good night (901) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.

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  (256): Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool. http://tfl.nu/26ob
  Replies (4) Good night (147) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt

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