Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.