Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.

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  (413): I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together. http://tfl.nu/48v7
  Replies (20) Good night (6096) Bad night (1016)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I can't breathe out the right side of my face

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  (646): I can't breathe out the right side of my face http://tfl.nu/2qbr
  Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (2101)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?

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  (919): How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs? http://tfl.nu/a2dd
  Replies (38) Good night (2355) Bad night (3587)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.

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  (404): Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while. http://tfl.nu/n1x9
  Replies (24) Good night (5508) Bad night (1545)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..

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  (902): i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see.. http://tfl.nu/ubpf
  Replies (9) Good night (4265) Bad night (1084)
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  (845): View more from New York

  the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later

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  (845): the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later http://tfl.nu/1207
  Replies (4) Good night (3655) Bad night (1438)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.

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  (601): I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/oz16
  Replies (1) Good night (1758) Bad night (971)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing

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  (269): he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing http://tfl.nu/dbp3
  Replies (6) Good night (1410) Bad night (2620)
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  (949): View more from California

  He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.

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  (949): He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men. http://tfl.nu/p93f
  Replies (32) Good night (3756) Bad night (806)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.

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  (727): Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules. http://tfl.nu/9nm8
  Replies (4) Good night (1193) Bad night (1342)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest

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  (662): The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance (1-662): Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest http://tfl.nu/10xm
  Replies (2) Good night (1292) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.

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  (469): He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is. http://tfl.nu/q0lq
  Replies (4) Good night (726) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth

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  (339): I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth http://tfl.nu/gmqm
  Replies (0) Good night (466) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.

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  (989): I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom. http://tfl.nu/avdp
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.

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  (248): You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new. http://tfl.nu/nx9b
  Replies (0) Good night (316) Bad night (357)

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