I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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