Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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