I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
