So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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