So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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