I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
