D3 body, D1 cock
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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