so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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