When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
