to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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