they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
