question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
