I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
