Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
