never play flip cup with pint glasses
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
