WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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