1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
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