I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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