Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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