At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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