Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize