she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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