Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
