I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
