After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize