Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
