i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
