somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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