guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
