This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
