1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
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