i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
