me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
