I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize