I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
