He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
