He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize