everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize