I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
this beer tastes like vomit already
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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