plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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