i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
