I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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