I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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