Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize