So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize
