yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i think my tv is drunk
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
