I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize