i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize