He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
