someone threw a dead crab at me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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