So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
