We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
false alarm, still single
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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