This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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